I can’t afford Christmas presents — so I’m telling my kids Santa isn’t real
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This family will not be having a holly, jolly Christmas.
A mother of four has been forced to dash her children's dreams after realizing she couldn't afford presents this holiday season. She might have to reveal every parent's best-kept secret: Santa isn't real.
Rachel, whose kids are all under the age of 10, explained her financial woes, giving herself the ultimatum to cut back on grocery shopping expenses or pay her bills in a risky "bill roulette" as she struggles to make ends meet.
The 30-year-old — who shares tales of young motherhood on TikTok — pleaded for advice online, asking other parents how they afford to keep the holiday spirit alive as costs spike in December with all the presents to buy.
"I just want to make my kids happy. I don't want them to feel embarrassed and as a parent you’ll do anything. I’m always thinking of ways," Rachel, who lives in Scotland and asked that her last name not be used for privacy reasons, told Caters News. "It's horrific leading up to Christmas, it makes me physically ill. My daughter has her birthday just before Christmas as well so I’m essentially Christmas shopping for four and birthday shopping as well which then feels like I’m shopping for five."
Rachel and her husband don't even exchange gifts during the holidays — "everything goes to the kids," she admitted.
"We’re fighting an impossible battle," the dejected mom said. "What do I do when the kids get older and want more expensive clothes as their friends are wearing it?"
She's often met with criticism from others who call her lazy and only advise her to get a job — but Rachel argues the cost of child care is too pricey for this struggling family.
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"If I had family to help me I’d go back to work. People say I’m sitting on my backside all day, but I’ve been a working mum and now I’m a stay at home mum and feel like I’m doing the job of 10 people," she explained. "At least being at work I’d be able to have a cup of tea and a sit down."
Once a manager for Samsung — where she earned cash for nursery fees and general cost of living — she quit when she had her second kid, seeing how costly child care was with more than one child. After crunching the numbers, Rachel realized that even with her salary, she’d only have less than $100 a month to live on after nursery and after school care fees were paid.
"I could work 50 hours a week and be lucky to have [$61.26] a month left, or I could be a stay-at-home and be the one to raise my kids rather than someone else, whilst in the same financial position," she said. "People assume I don't want to work but I would love to. No one in their right mind would work 50 hours a week for nothing."
With her youngest at only 19 months old, Rachel feels "trapped," forced to stay at home all day long because he isn't old enough for school.
"We’re raising four kids on the money given to raise two kids," she said of the funds she receives from Universal Credit, which helps with living costs but only covers two children. "We’re just surviving! We play roulette with our direct debits, whoever comes to us first can have the money. Will it be the gas and electric or the car finance?"
One child is her husband's from a previous marriage, one is Rachel's from a previous marriage, and the other two they had together. But there's a catch — she was on birth control both times.
"But to be honest, it's no one's business about my contraception. I hate the assumption people have telling me I shouldn't have popped out kids I can't afford," she said. "I don't feel like we’re built to just survive and have no enjoyment, I should be able to buy my kids clothes without stressing. I’ve been sewing up the same pair of my own leggings for four years."
Online, people's unhelpful comments pile up, with some criticizing Rachel for having so many kids, and others tell her to "work night shifts."
"People want to offer solutions without thinking if it's even possible. I’ve heard every solution under the sun," she said. "People who say they don't understand and have never been in this position, I tell them, if I got a job, who would look after my kids? I can't return them or leave them in the house."
"If people lived my life, I’d love them to tell me where you can fit a job in?" she added.
The couple have tried every trick in the money-saving book to be able to just live, selling their phones for some quick cash and purchasing cheaper foods to save a few bucks here and there.
"I also go to charity shops, and I also look on Facebook Marketplace to see if anyone is selling anything of use," she said. "It can make you feel ashamed when you take something for free, it's almost like begging and knocks your pride, but the stakes get higher and higher."
Around the holidays, her family feels the financial pangs more than ever — not even coupons and thrifty shopping could make her season bright. If anything, she’d need a Christmas miracle.
"I know I’m not the only one in this situation, and I know there are people who are in worse positions, but I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy," she said. "If no one speaks out, nothing will change and people will feel alone."
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